In Common

In Common The common mistake was not trusting me. The common mistake was branding me the title of a fool. The common mistake was leaving me. I became infatuated, almost insane; I grew weak from separation, the physical attraction towards you became unbearable, my anxiety grew and the discomfort that began to evolve in your eyes strengthened. The emotional attachment to you was unwanted, undeserved and uncontrollable. Our love transformed, it blossomed like a flower in the spring, yet you allowed that flower to form thorns that carried unease and pain. We met as neighbours and soon formed a stable connection, you enforced that the relationship was ‘purely platonic’ but the common misconception that you had was my intentions. Your inability to express your feelings was tiresome, the stubbornness you carried flooded our relationship, it destroyed the love. I had patiently waited for years, ready to seize my moment for when you were ready, but it never happened. Everyday I was cruelly punished by the fools gold in your eyes, tempted by its beauty. You were a facade, keeping your hostility hidden. The demanding lips you presented were misleading. Your hair was a reflection of your false persona, it was intimidating yet arousing. The skin that gripped your bones was unearthly pale, the veins pulsed through the thin layer of tissue that continued to fray over time. The love had exhausted from your body, leaving a vulgar frame of bones. The constant denying and accusations towards me became tedious, the insults were no better either, yet I was still in awe of the vastness of your being. The love I had for you was visceral yet was never reciprocated, this gradually began to affect my rational behaviour. The love inspired me, it was an involuntary state of mind and it led to an addiction. I had fallen into a paradox, I wanted you desperately, I wanted you to want me, I wanted you forever. This cyclical nature of our relationship was frustrating, it allowed me to resort to ruminative thinking. My focus was you and it continued to torment me, but my vision was always transparent. We were the same age, 32, we had the same eye colour, blue, we shared the same taste in music, Heavy metal; we were so alike it was almost fate that bound us together. But the dissimilarities that evolved as a result of your caution and refrain, insulted my intelligence. I was convinced you would remain the most beautiful thing, consume my thoughts, stay with me - but the infatuation was shattered. I was disappointed when the illusion crumbled into reality, I am still. I was in love with the idea of you, the commonalities we shared, how similar we were and the time we spent together. I can’t say you were mine, because the torturous truth is you were never there. And if it's of any consolation to you, you’re the best idea i’ve ever had.

by Grace, Age 17


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