‘Self’ by Ash Burwood

SELF: I think this looks okay.

Beat

MASK: You look tired. Just put me on.

SELF: I’ve told you already. I’ve talked about you in therapy. You’re not good for me.

MASK: And you spoke with me still plastered on your face!

Silence

MASK: Listen, you need me.  It’s okay.  Don’t listen to her. She just sees you as a problem to solve. But me? I care.  Just wear me. I’ll keep you safe.

SELF: She said you might say that.

MASK: Excuse me? I know who you are.

SELF: But I don’t know who I am!

MASK: Yes, you do, you know me and I am you.

SELF: No, you’re not.  You’re you and I need to be me.

MASK: We are one. You can’t get rid of me. I am always in your periphery.

Beat.

MASK: The flowers with no petals will never be picked.  I am your petals.  I’m the shepherd, you’re the sheep.  It’s not your place to lead me.

SELF: Maybe the flowers need some time to bloom. I’m writing.

MASK: Ha! You don’t even read.  How do you think your writing is going to go?

Beat.

MASK: Your work won’t be anything special. No one wants to hear another whining kid moaning.

Beat.

MASK: You don’t realise how lucky you are to have me as your guiding light.

Self turns away from the mirror.

MASK: Just give up. Who do you think you are?

SELF: I don’t need to hear this! I’m dedicated, ambitious, passionate.

MASK: Sure, whatever helps you sleep at night. At least you’ve actually said it.

SELF: Shut up! I swear I’m gonna kill you, Ash.

MASK: You’ve got to kill me to kill you.

SELF: No, you’re not me. I’m in the driver’s seat, I choose if you die.

Mask leans out from the mirror.

MASK: Breaking news for you Ash.  I have existed since the beginning.  The first day? I was there.  I am sin, I am reason for treason, with no rhyme and no reason.  Deceitful pretender, Truth in a blender. Father of lies, the banished avenger.

Self puts headphones on and turns before turning the volume to max.  Takes a breath.

SELF: Hi Ash, I’ve been taking some time to be me.  I’ve realised I’ve spent my whole life with you.  But I was made to be tested and twisted, I was made to be bashed and be beat.  I was made by his hand, part of his plan, to stand on my own, two feet.

Self makes eye contact with Mask.

SELF: You know me, you’ve met me before. I go by many names.  Some people know me as hope, some as the voice that you hear when you loosen the noose in the rope. I have stood in your flame as you cremated my face, and I didn’t once flinch or shake.

MASK: Are you for real?

Self removes their headphones.

SELF: I am.  Unfortunately, you are not.

Self steps away from the mirror.  Breathes.