Disorientated. Unattended. Solitary. This is how my life is going right now. I still remember when I was young; I never thought this type of thing would happen to me. But it has. I was wrong. I still remember watching the news when I was young; seeing refugees getting forced out of their homes. Now I’m going to be one of the refugees on the news, aren’t I? Sometimes when I sleep, I imagine my life never changed, and I’m safe in my home country. But this dream never came true, I need to start a new life somewhere else. Somewhere safer.
Who am I? Where am I? I can’t answer either of those questions. It’s like I’m stuck in this endless petrifying life I can never escape from. However long I walk, I always end up accomplishing nothing. The starting line was my home. More specifically, the front door. As soon as I step one foot onto the concrete path outside, there’s no going back. There is no such thing as ‘Oh! I forgot something, let me go back and grab it.’ You forgot something, its gone. Gone forever.
These perilous journeys just end up with me reaching the finish line. The Border. I feel discouraged, ruined, the last scraps of hope inside me are slowly burning up every minute – turning to burnt out cinders.
The whispers in my head telling me what to do and what not to do are driving me insane. The voices in my head aren’t real people, are they? What if my parents are trying to tell me something? It can’t be. I lost them as soon as I became a young teen. Thirteen.
Strikes of pain dash through my stomach. Hunger. How long have I been walking for? It feels like all my life. My eyes droop from the tiredness, my vision turning blurry. Dark eye bags have been forming under my eyes, getting darker every night from lack of sleep. It feels like I’m being dragged along – sleep deprived. My weak body is struggling to carry on.
The scorching sun was burning my skin, but I must keep going. I have a glimmer of hope, and that’s all what matters. Other people have given up and faced the consequences of reality. But not me. Definitely not, I’m still going.
Hopefully one day soon, these broken down cinders that are grieving in my soul might just ignite when I’ve reached the final border.