The awful sensation of agony and fear that lasts for years finally gets to you.
I am Savannah, and I’d been dating Shawn for three years during that period. Shawn was a successful man. When we first met, we were tremendously in love. When I was with him, nothing else mattered. Given that I’m present, you might be wondering what changed. When his mother passed away, everything changed. Shawn was distraught and utterly broken; he no longer resembled the Shawn I had once loved: it was as if a piece of him had also died. His erratic mood swings caused friction.
On March twenty-second, a regular day, Shawn went to work as usual, and I stayed home to attempt to find a little happiness in my life by avoiding reality. But later, I suddenly felt the need for freedom. Could I manage it? How would I go about it? My entire body erupted with the desire for independence. I bravely opened the door and stepped outdoors as though starting a new life. Shawn might decide to head back home, so I hurried to the bus stop. I awaited the bus. However, I felt terrible sorrow and regret because Shawn had legal authority over me, even my thoughts. I was unable to motivate myself to depart.
He arrived home completely inebriated one evening. He was furious and started blaming me for everything as he stumbled around the room and threw objects everywhere. I tried to doge them the best I could. This led to a heated dispute. ‘’ You cruel, sneaky woman, it’s your fault mother died!’’ Shawn exclaimed. I was mortified, why would he feel this way? I had trouble falling asleep at night, so I got up and left. I had finally ended my abusive relationship. I was afraid as in wandered the streets at night, with little to no money, and no one to turn to. But I was unable to return! I travelled to my mother’s house in London by rail after taking the bus. During the three-hour trip, I sat there contemplating what I had just done and wondering if I had made the correct choice. I arrived in London, the vast city, on my own, with no clue what to do next.
Having not seen my mother for two years, I stood in front of her door. She opened when I knocked and then I proceeded to cry and sob into my mother’s arms. I confided in her and poured out my heart to her. She truly has helped me and is incredibly supportive of the situation. My mother could relate to me since she had also experienced what I had.
I am here today because I want other people to come and speak up about abusive relationships and these issues. Always obtain what you need from them, including the support. I appreciate you listening to my tale. Be aware that you are not alone. Thank you.