‘Blank Memory’ by Holly Harradine

Blank memory. The blank memory of my beautiful childhood. I wish I could remember the part of my bone-chilling childhood before it became bone-chilling.  It was like the flick of a light switch.

I must have been about 2 years old. Bathing in sunlight. My parents hid their trepidation with gigantic smiles on their faces. And that… was the last day I remember being happy.

Thoughts restrained my brain as if someone was strangling it. My hearts skipped what crossed the border. The border of happiness. Once you get to the other side, happiness no longer exists.

Knowing that I have to care and I have to watch out brings tears to my eyes. I picture my younger self, crying becauseI couldn’t get a toy I wanted. But , im crying because I don’t have the life I wanted… why me? Why did this have to happen to me? My sorrow hides away in hopes I can get out of this hell. I have been living like this for years now. But, all I can think about is my blank memories and how whilst I overtake this slow journey I will always try and remember my blank memories…